Thursday morning. Today. I woke up at 6:30am to my alarm. It was 75 degrees outside already. I hurried to get ready. My mother drove me to the airport and we caught traffic the whole way. I was almost late. I was rushing and it felt like it was just me in the airport. My vision went tunnel and i just focused on getting to my gate. I felt sick. the entire time. Ive caught the cold.. or the flu. I kept thinking while waiting in the security line, I should get out and call a cab or a friend to take me home because i do not feel well at all. But i didn’t want to turn down my colorado trip. I need the cleanliness and coolness of the colorado air. Maybe it’ll help me. I’ve been fighting to beat this sickness. I definitely do not want to be stuck sick the whole time I’m there.

I am on the airplane as i type this. Have i ever mentioned i have horrible anxiety and being sick, it just makes the symptoms all worse. I was assigned the window seat and i was so worried. I got to my row and there’s a man sitting in the middle. i ask him if it is okay if we switched and he was surprisingly so willing to. Turns out, he loves the window seat. All the rows are filled with people and luckily the seat next to me was empty. Freeing me from my panics about being in the middle and not able to get out to the lavatory quickly and easily. So my anxiousness about the flight has gone away. Im just left with the sickness symptoms. I am eating pretzels and sipping on smart water and sprite. My eyes feel dry, my lips are dry (i forgot my chapstick in my suitcase-of course-), I’m congested, i feel tired. But then I look out the window and see the small outlines of the grass and dirt areas. of the mountains and towns. and i feel calm. so very calm. listening to Alex Turner and Benjamin Francis Leftwich which is also helping calm me. 1 hour and 30 minutes left of this flight! See you soon, Denver!

I share a quote i dearly love

”Deep within each of us lies a garden. an intensely personal place. Throughout most of our lives, this garden remains hidden from view save for brief glimpeses during moments spent daydreaming or in quiet contemplation…but many of us long to make this imaginative garden real." -Julie Moir Messervy, The Inward Garden

Days until autumnal equinox: 13